church planting wife issues

Who Is The Woman Married To Your Pastor?

The Top Ten Things the Woman Married to Your Pastor Wants You to Know:

10. She’s her own person. She is not  an appendage of the pastor. She might even have differing political, social and biblical views than her spouse. She is in a position where sharing those views could negatively effect her husband’s job. You might be surprised and delighted to discover how different she may be from what you previously thought.

9. She has a [...]

The End of the Rope

I picked up my Bible and hurled it out the tiny window of our basement apartment. The thin pages wrinkled. The leather cover folded.  But there it hung, caught between the iron bars of our city window. “I can’t succeed at anything, I thought, not even throwing my Bible away.”

I was at the end of my rope. Finished. Disillusioned. We were church planters in a foreign country, in a global city, in a language [...]

By |September 28th, 2017|Shari Thomas|21 Comments|

The Sting of Messing Where You Shouldn’t

Yesterday, we ended a lovely family weekend with a walk to The Museum of Natural History. Hidden behind the museum is a small water fountain park. Our grandson excitedly ran through the soft green grass towards the water and right over a swarm of yellow jackets. Surprisingly he didn’t get stung. But like all New Yorkers, I expected at minimum a warning sign to be posted about the danger.

Penny’s yellow jacket experience turned out [...]

Raising Kids In The City

‘What’s up with my kids? They climb on everything. And our furniture is so cheap, it’s always breaking.’

‘I regret now buying what we did when we moved here. It’s not holding up with our boys.’ Another woman added.

Before you think this is a discipline issue, this conversation came from our Brooklyn cohort this past Wednesday night. They are raising kids in small city spaces. 650-square-foot is the average size of a NYC family apartment. We [...]

Preparing My Heart To Be With Others

Friends were over last week and I stumbled out of bed and into the kitchen, talking. About ten minutes into the mostly one-way conversation I caught myself. “Meds. I haven’t taken my meds!” Thankfully, I was with friends. They love me in spite of what I say or my need for meds. Still, I was reminded how easily I can go about my day completely unprepared to be a member of the human race.

My [...]

The Zookeeper’s Wife

The inspiring yet heartbreaking story of one woman’s courage during wartime is the plot for the book and now the movie, The Zookeeper’s Wife. This true story, set in Warsaw during World War II, shows not only how war impacts women but also how they fight and risk all for their beliefs.

One wife’s courage saved over 300 Jewish lives from extermination. When Poland is occupied by the Nazis, zookeeper Jan Zabinski and his wife [...]

Help! How Do I Deal With My Contempt?

My last blog elicited quite a few responses asking how we should handle our contemptuous hearts. Remember, contempt is the number one marriage killer. It’s not something to take lightly.

Tackling an answer in a blog doesn’t do the problem justice. One size does not fit all. Still, I’m going to offer an approach by sharing what’s helped identify and root out contempt in our marriage. Bear in mind that this was after [...]

By |February 15th, 2017|Shari Thomas|4 Comments|

Under the Covers, Under His Smile.

It’s 9:30 a.m. I’m still in my pajamas. I allow the indulgence telling myself I’m just enjoying the new PJ’s I got for Christmas. Telling myself I have extra time since I didn’t work out this morning. Telling myself that twenty-seven years of child rearing allows me to stay in bed as long as I want.

I recall the winters I walked our kids to school. The baby, thermal-sack bundled under the plasticized stroller cover. [...]

Too Much….

This summer I began writing on a life-long interest, survival and resiliency, only to discover that my friend Penny Freeman was doing the same. Here are her thoughts:

I am learning about resiliency for my new life stage (sixth decade of life, fourth decade of marriage, having less energy, a weaker body, and grandchildren who expand my heart and my desire to run until I am dead).  Resiliency fascinates me because I am staring down [...]

What is Bothering You Today?

Are you overwhelmed? Anxious? Are there too many pending deadlines weighing on you?

I went on vacation this summer intending to work several hours each afternoon. We arrived at the beach Saturday afternoon. I planned to begin writing on Monday. For years, I’ve been reading and meditating on rhythms of work and rest. Sometimes I even practice what I’m learning. It took me a full day and a half, however, to recognize the humor of [...]

By |September 27th, 2016|Shari Thomas|3 Comments|